Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Rated R for Sexual Content

This entry is not for the young or the sexually sensitive. No it is not explicit or sinful in nature, but still – it is about sex. Read on at your discretion.

I am a single, 20-something, non-sexually active woman living in a cosmopolitan city. I am not a sexually deprived woman. I do not have any problems whatsoever abstaining from sex. I find it really funny that on a regular basis, magazine’s such as Cosmo and Glamour are so focused on sex and physical pleasure. Every month I see them on the newsstands with big bold headlines of the new tricks or secret desires. Maybe I’m in the minority here, but my life does not revolve around sex! When I think about a hot actor or a cute guy I see out somewhere, its not a sexual fantasy. With the actors, sure I wouldn’t mind knowing if he is a good kisser or not, or how his arms would feel around me – that’s about as sexual as it gets. The cute guy I see out in public randomly? Its more of a “is he marriage material” kind of a thought. Or a “would he open the door and let me go first?” thought. I do not have any desire to see a guy naked at any point during the day – sorry to you guys who read this but that’s just not something I wanna see. Now, Brad Pitt without a shirt on? I wouldn’t turn my eyes away, I’ll admit. But I’d rather not see any further. Sexy to me is a man doing the dishes without being asked, a man opening the car door – both getting in and getting out – for a woman, a hug and a kiss without any other hidden agenda, a wink and a smile, a phone call just to say hello, remembering a special occasion, planning a special date in advance and taking care of all the details. Some of you reading are probably chuckling thinking “honey you are dreaming if you think a guy like that exists”. Well you know, here’s what I say. I am dreaming. And praying. And hoping. And waiting. If I’ve ever been given good advice, it is to never settle for second best. Never give up on your dreams. And never lose faith. I am not a Cosmo girl who thinks that getting a man involves learning how to “please him in the bedroom”. And I’m not a girl who is impressed with what a guy drives or how much money he has. I always wonder exactly what kind of girls they use for those wonderful polls with all the statistics about who’s having sex when, where, how many times and whether girls “play it solo” or not. They aren’t interviewing me, that’s for sure. Course, if they were I’m sure I’d still be in the minority. These days its practically an oxymoron to be single and chaste. But you know, I’m an “alien” – I am a stranger living in a foreign land. I’ve been down the immoral road and it didn’t do much for me. It didn’t make me a better person and I will always carry baggage because of it. Granted, your past makes you who you are and you learn from experience. So don’t think I’m wishing I could change it. But I’m telling you – any of you who may read this who are single and think you might be missing out on the sex action, don’t give in. It’s not worth it. God gave us sexual desires, but they are meant to be expressed within a monogamous marriage relationship. Anything outside of that will only hinder you and hurt you and leave you with scars that may not heal. God can provide healing, of course, and HE can restore you in every way. But I also know that because He can doesn’t mean He will and we sometimes have to live with the consequences of our actions. So now, after having been down the road of reading the articles in Cosmo and thinking whether or not I should use their techniques in an attempt to keep a guy’s attention, I can tell you with 100% honesty that I am not sexually repressed or deprived. I am a diamond in the rough. I am a pearl, stuck in an oyster, waiting for the right person to find me and see my true value. I am a bride of Christ who has been washed and cleaned. And when I see the tall, dark, handsome guy on the street, I really am thinking “Is he a Christian?” or “What kind of husband he is or will be someday” or “I wonder if he’s good with kids”. You can call me a liar if you want, and that’s okay. Angelina can have Brad. J I have a Prince Charming of my own somewhere out there – a man who is also a diamond in the rough, who is also living for Christ and who is also waiting for the right person at the right time to unleash the passion God gave to each of us.
And okay, I admit. I occasionally stay up late and end up watching Sex and the City and that was a partial influence on me writing this. So sue me


At 8:53 AM , Blogger Reagan said...

i agree...its the same story for me. when i look at a guy and think he's cute, what i really wonder is if he will stay with me forever.

At 1:03 PM , Anonymous Jesse Switsky said...

You go girl! I think it is great that you are waiting for Prince Charming. I feel the same way. I also that it is to let your heart lead you astray

At 1:06 PM , Anonymous jesse switsky said...

That did not come out like I intended. I also know that it is easy to let your heart lead you astray.

At 6:43 PM , Blogger Matt said...

I honestly hope that you find that guy, Jan. No one can ever say anything about you keeping it real until marriage - admirable to the nth degree. Just remember, even if he's not 100% of that, he may still be the man of your dreams.

At 10:46 AM , Blogger Lisa said...

I'm so proud of you Banana!! I too don't know who those articles are written for. I've been married for three years, and I certainly don't need a magazine article to keep my husband happy! (not trying to toot my own horn here - just trying to imply that proper communication of needs, helps in this area more than "technique"!) Never once have I said to my husband, "honey, I was reading in cosmo and they said we should try..." There are SO MANY different aspects to a relationship, that sex is not exactly the most important part!


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