Oops
So I haven't blogged in a long time and I can't promise I will continue. But I figure I should post a wedding picture and the story of how we met and married since it was a year before our wedding date that I posted about waiting for true love! :-) God is good!
SUMMER is almost here!
I can't believe how time flies. Just a little over a week left of school and my life will change for the summer! Our two year old class has grown and learned so much and I will miss them!! I got teary eyed yesterday because I saw the kindergarten class wearing their caps and gowns for pictures and it hit me - they are moving on to first grade in the public school and that means that about half or more of the 4 year old class will also be going off to public school for kindergarten while only a few stay at WEE school. OH MY GOSH! They are growing up. *sigh*
Its been a fabulous year, I have learned so much teaching these kids! I look forward to the possibility of teaching in the twos class again next year - and having Evy in the class!!! This summer I will be watching kids. I'm not sure yet who all I will have because the people I currently baby-sit for want to find someone to come to their house and watch all 4. I have committed to watching 2 girls (4 and 6) and 3 boys (4 and 7 year old twins) so I can't also keep baby Karter who is only 1. I can watch the other 3 (who are 4, 6 and 8) because they will all be able to play together. Anyway, its up in the air right now but we will see what happens. For now I'm just hoping to make enough money to get through the summer a little better off than I have been these past few months. Its been a rough year.
Thats about all for the update really. Sorry I don't post here very often - blame Facebook!!
A Day with Evy
o since I quit working for Gidget and taking care of Evy I haven't really had much one on one time with her. This last weekend, Evy found a cat down at the barn and had to call and tell me about it. She wanted to bring it to me at my house! Gidget said all weekend she talked about me and going to my house! Since I had Thursday "off" and Gidget was bringing horses for Rodeo Day at WEE School I told her to bring Evy and I would take her for the morning! Sure enough, she brought her and Evy enjoyed Rodeo Day, we helped with the horse rides and then I took her to my house to see my cats. While there I changed shirts so that we would match and we had a little photo shoot!! Then we went to McDonalds, took more pictures and she crashed in her carseat on the drive back home. It was a great day and I plan to do it anytime I can! I love that sweet girl!!! Enjoy the pictures - she is growing up too fast!!
S
Inspired to write...
I watched He's Just Not That Into You so I was inspired to share my own story... here is what I have so far. More to come
I am 31 (and counting), single never been married, and still hoping. No matter what crazy relationship drama I have been through, no matter the heartache or frustration, I have not given up hope. I will not. God has a plan for me and I have known since I was too young to even make the choice that I would be a wife and mother someday. Its pretty much all I have ever wanted. And yet, I don’t believe that it has been my goal to find a husband because if I had been determined enough I’m sure I would have found one in college just like almost everyone else. I went to a small Baptist University and countless numbers of people I knew met and married through HPU. So had I really been driven by that single goal I think I would have succeeded. But I loved college and I don’t think I wasted a single day of it! I have so many hilarious, wonderful memories! I wonder sometimes what my life would be like had I been a little more settled, a little more demure, a little more reserved. . . . Yes I would have missed out on the crazy weekend adventures, driving to other towns hours away to dance the night away with any guy who asked, the nights staying up late playing games or watching movies. I would have missed some of the road trips, and possibly my two trips to Europe. Would I be happier if I were settled and married with 3 or 4 kids? If I had given up on all those adventures to fall in love with a secure godly man and live the life I dreamed? Because that just makes me wonder how much it really is my dream. I mean sure I want to be married. I want a partner who is there when I get home, who will travel with me, dance with me, laugh with me and cry with me. Someone who will balance me out when I get a little crazy and who will let me fly when I have a great idea. I just don’t want all that at the expense of living life. Taking each day as it comes and trying to enjoy every minute. I don’t want to hold myself back waiting for “HIM” to appear and whisk me off into the sunset. I don’t want to have my life on hold, waiting for it to start with the words “I do.”
One of my favorite books and now my favorite movie, is Pride and Prejudice. I am very much a “Lizzie” in this story - waiting for my Mr. Darcy to capture my attention and help transform my strong independent self into a loving, faithful wife. I cringe at Charlotte marrying Mr. Collins for the “security” and because she is a 27 year old burden on her parents. Like Lizzie, I would have turned down his proposal for the exact same reasons, even if he could have ‘saved’ me and my family through an advantageous marriage. I know that love and ‘warm fuzzy feelings’ are not all that marriage entails, but it must start with at least some of that! Without attraction and electricity, there isn’t much to build on and you certainly need a foundation of sorts to build a life together.
So, my dating life has been pretty interesting. I sometimes wish I would have kept a detailed journal of some of the hilarious first dates I have been on, the relationships that I have had as an adult. I would love to go back and read exactly what happened and how I felt about it at the time. It might give me more insight to who I am and where I am today. Instead I have my memories, which are probably fuzzy and the details are lost, but I would like to share them. (names have been changed, obviously ~ I don’t want to start any rumors)
Dan the Dependable was a guy that I wished I was attracted to. He and I started out as friends and then we attempted a romantic dating relationship. I don’t remember exactly how long it lasted but I know it wasn’t long - a few months or less. He was, and still is, a true gentleman and took care of me like no other guy had. I knew he would make an excellent husband and father because he has a heart of gold and was thoughtful and sincere. But there just wasn’t that “thing” that makes you excited to be with the person you like. You know, when you are in love and the object of your affection calls you out of the blue, it just sends butterflies to your stomach and a huge smile to your face. You can’t help it. People who are in love simply radiate joy and everyone can see it. Even though Dan made me happy and I truly enjoyed spending time with him, there was no need to be around him, no insatiable desire to hear his voice or see his face. And no matter how much I tried to get it, I couldn’t. I believe he had it for me to a degree and I felt terribly guilty at not returning the feeling. We are friends to this day and I went to his wedding a few years ago. The woman he married could not be more deserving and she is well aware at how blessed she is by him. He treats her exactly as I knew he would and I am so happy to know that she appreciates him and loves him in return. I am jealous of them because I know I could have had that - if only it was meant to be. Clearly they are meant to be together which is why I didn’t feel that way about him. But it makes me sad sometimes because I wanted it to be me.
In High School I dated Rob the Rodeo guy. When I met him at a dance hall, I had an immediate crush because he was just so good looking and outgoing - everyone there knew him and loved him. He was always dancing with some girl or another because he was a really good dancer and very charming. I can’t remember how our relationship started but I felt so lucky that he ‘chose’ me. I still remember the way I felt when I danced with him - it was like we were one person moving around the floor. He was so easy to blend with and I felt as though I didn’t even have to think about what I was doing because my feet simply moved in perfect step with his, our bodies pressed closely together in synchrony. He was a bull rider and rode everywhere from big arena’s to tiny hole in the wall buck-out’s. I had a love hate relationship with the rodeo because I was terrified he would get hurt but it was also a rush to watch him ride because there is just something attractive about a cowboy! I don’t even know why we broke up but we were together for quite a while - several months, which for me was a serious relationship at that age! I have had a lot of dance partners over the years, but that is what sticks out in my mind about Rob. Funny thing is, a few years later I saw him at another bar and he was bloated and drunk and not at all the cute rodeo star he had once been. I guess I dodged that bullet!
The summer after my senior year of High School, I went to a two-week summit camp in Colorado where I met Andy who became my Aggie Corps boy. We didn’t officially meet each other until the very end of the camp and had a tearful good bye at the airport. You know, lamenting the time we had not spent together that we should have and all that. But the romance lasted over the summer long distance and continued through our freshman year at college. I had seen him from afar at the camp and thought he was dreamy but never thought I could get his attention. But once I had it, I was in and we were both smitten. He lived in another town several hours away but we spent the summer visiting each other and I got to know his family pretty well. He was a gentlemen and definitely one of the best guys I have dated in my life to this point. We never argued, and we always had a good time. My memories with him include things like pulling over the truck, opening the windows and dancing in the street to the music on the radio. Sleeping underneath the stars on my parents back deck on a big pallet of blankets and pillows. His cologne on a t-shirt that I borrowed to sleep in - that I actually still have to this day! The scent of Obsession always takes me back. . . Going to see Garth Brooks in concert right before he stopped performing and dancing in the aisle. Standing with the Corps of Cadets at the A&M/ Tech game and getting soaked because it rained the entire time! The Aggie bonfire and midnight yell - kissing him at midnight in his uniform surrounded by tons of other couples doing the same thing. What broke us up was an ex-girlfriend who was also at A&M and just couldn’t let him go. She was convenient since she was there on campus and was always available, always around when he needed a date to an event or a partner for dancing class. He cheated on me with her and that confession was one of the most emotional moments in my dating life. He was very remorseful but also willing to admit what he had done was wrong and I was right to be upset. I forgave him (because I had met the vixen and knew what she was capable of) but the relationship ended. We stayed friends until he got married to a wonderful girl he met once he was finally able to shake the other ex. I didn’t make it to the wedding and I am sort of sad about that. He is one whom I sincerely believe is probably happily married and a wonderful husband and father. I could have married him and been happy. But he just wasn’t the right one for me. I hope he was the right one for her.
Pictures
just to catch you up! :-) In no particular order
The smallest living room I've ever had, but I think its cozy!
I've stopped biting my fingernails! I don't paint them too well, but this is what I did over Christmas!
me and my boys for my 31st Birthday. My "small group" from CCC - Jesse, John and Geoff!
me and my friend Kelly all glammed up for the College Life Formal - we both went without dates because we are just that cool!
overdue
Wow, okay I've been neglecting my blog a bit. So sorry! I am totally plugged in to facebook these days and that is where I keep up with pretty much anyone and everyone. While I check other people's blogs, I was reminded that I have forgotten my own!! Quick update
November:
Had a great birthday, 31 really ain't so bad. Enjoyed a trip to the city to visit my friends up there, then in Stephenville we had a church wide country dance which was fun! Thanksgiving was pretty low key - home to Clifton for a few days and then spent the rest of my time off doing touch-up painting and stuff around the house.
December:
The last few weeks before Christmas break were pretty crazy at school. We were trying to get pictures of the kids and doing lots of art projects for them to take home. We also put on a little Christmas musical before the party and that took some practicing. But our little two-year olds really did great up on stage! They behaved themselves and it was really fun. Many of the parents were very sweet and gave us gifts and I was touched. Its been so fun bonding with these kids and their parents and watching them grow! Then over Christmas break the family went to Nashville to see Dean and Jill and it was a very low-key nice time to just hang out and enjoy each other's company. Of course, I was slightly rude as I was completely addicted to the Twilight books and could hardly resist reading every chance I got a quiet moment!! But we did some shopping, played games, ate good food and had a really nice visit. The break was really nice!!
January:
New Years was eventful - I had two parties to go to. The first was our church-wide party and it was held at the Hansen's ranch where I used to work/live. Most of the evening I spent being bossed around by Evy. She is hilarious! But we enjoyed spending time together and she cracked me up most of the time. When she was ready for bed I left for the next party with the "younger crowd". I enjoyed my next few days of time off, sleeping in, etc but Tuesday the 6th was back to work! We've had the past 3 Mondays in a row off of school so I've had "long weekends" and so only two days at school each week. It will be really strange to start the week on Monday next week!
Not many new developments happening. . . . our singles class at church has really started to bond and grow. This past Sunday we had 16 in Attendance!! Our classroom really only fits about 12 at the most so we were squished in pretty good. But its been awesome lately because we've been getting together outside of church a lot more often - calling and texting each other to hang out on the weekends and Sunday nights after service. I have really enjoyed it. I've been part of the singles class the entire time I've lived here (2 years now!) and there has been a lot of fluctuation in numbers. But finally we seem to have hit a "sweet spot" and its really great. Ironically our teacher recently got engaged but it seems he plans to continue on with us at least for awhile which is nice. But even if he decides to move on to another class, we finally have several strong men who could easily take the place and lead our class. Its stock show time around this part and I'd like to go to the rodeo this weekend if we can get a group together (which we probably will!). Other than that, I think you're caught up. Work has been good - I'm still loving the kids I teach and the ones I baby-sit! I'll try to remember to post some pictures from the last few months :-)
What is up with the Universe??
Okay in the words of Phoebe, seriously?! What is UP with the universe?! specifically MY UNIVERSE? I think its trying to tell me something - maybe stay in bed? Let's just start at the beginning. Last week the kids were CRAZY on both Wednesday and Friday and Tammy and I were about ready to pull our hair out. Then Friday after school I headed out, loaded up my car and started the 7 hour drive to Little Rock so that I could go to Reagan's wedding on Saturday. I will admit, when I started my car initially it did the clicking noise and didn't start. But when I tried again it was fine so I just shrugged it off. I stopped in Ft Worth for a quick potty break and it was fine then. But when I stopped outside Rockwall at a Love's Truck Stop, no go. The battery came on (radio, windows, lights) but it wouldn't turn over. So after lots of conversations with many people we had it narrowed down to the starter, alternator or the battery. My friend Craig said rule out the battery first - find someone who can jump start it. If that works, its the battery and thats an easy fix. So I found a nice man in a pickup truck (because they are typically prepared!) and sure enough he had jumper cables and was more than happy to help me out. It worked! So I drove to a Wal Mart back in Rockwall to get myself a new battery. But when they removed the old one and connected the new one, the alarm went off. The alarm I haven't used in YEARS and the clicker on my key does not work. So now the alarm is activated and I can't start the car or do anything with it until I get a new battery for the clicker. Wal Mart didn't have a battery that size so I trekked across the parking lot to Car Toys (praying the whole way). they didn't have one either. At that point, I started to cry from frustration. Thankfully the guy at Car Toys was super nice and he said "don't worry I can just override the alarm, where is your car?" and he walked back to Wal Mart with me and sure enough, he was able to shut it off. Yay! By this time, though, my phone battery was at 15% and I don't have a car charger because I've never needed one. I had 5 hours to go - I needed to charge my phone. So I went back to Car Toys and bought a car charger and was on my way. I got to Little Rock at 11pm and crashed. Saturday started out great because the weather was PERFECT and I got a message from Mike - a guy I used to work with and have kept in touch with - and found out he was in Searcy for the wedding. He had driven in with my friend Corrie who had flown in from Arizona! So I drove to Searcy, sought out the wedding party and found them at Reagan's house but they were on their way to get dressed for pictures so I met Mike at the hotel/university and he took me to lunch. After lunch we drove around some country roads in his firebird and enjoyed the beautiful day. The wedding was at 4 and it was really beautiful. The men wore kilts and there was a bagpipe player! It was really cool and very different!! Reagan of course, looked beautiful and I cried. I'm so happy for her! The reception had amazing food (of course, I would expect nothing less from the well travelled connoissuer!) and it was lovely. I was only disappointed to find out that Amy had a bad cold and was feeling miserable so she and Karlan left the reception to go back to the hotel and just rest/sleep. They live in Virginia so I was very sad not to be able to visit with them more. Corrie was also super tired from all the wedding festivities and she and Mike did the same. I really wish I had been able to get into town earlier on Friday so that I could have gone to the rehearsal dinner and had girl time! But it just didn't work out. Weddings can definitely be stressful and I understood that my friends were tired. I was just sad I didn't get to spend more time with them because we haven't seen each other for 3 years. I stayed at the reception until it was over and then I helped clean up and I got to visit quite a bit with Reagan's family which really was nice. I haven't seen them in quite a long time and they are a really cool bunch! I drove back to LR and got to the house in time to catch the second half of the Tech/UT game which, by the way, was AWESOME. Sunday I slept in and then started my drive home - taking my time and enjoying the scenery. Again, it was a beautiful day! The weekend was over, time to start a new week. But alas, its apparently just not meant to be my week. Monday morning on my way to school I actually got out the door a little early which was good because unfortunately just as I got outside the city limits, a small buck ran across the road and smacked right into my drivers side door!!! A woman from my church was going the opposite direction taking her kids to school and the deer ran in front of her so she witnessed the whole thing and turned around to come check on me. I was fine - the deer of course was not. I could see some slight damage done to my car and my door was crunching when I opened it because of where the deer hit but everything seemed to at least be in working order. Another car pulled over as well and then a guy in a truck pulled up where the deer was still in the road and he hauled it off into the ditch. A little shaken, I went ahead to school and went through my day a little worried about my car but otherwise fine. Until about 1:30 that is. At 1:30 I suddenly felt as though I'd been hit by a mack truck - I didn't feel well at ALL. My neck and shoulders were very tight, I had a headache and felt slightly nauseous. So I called my chiropractor and my massage therapist. I'm getting an adjustment later today, but I got in for a massage last night, thank goodness! I definitely had some whiplash and an unpleasant muscle spasm in my neck. So last night I went home, took advil and just sat in my chair and watched a movie. Despite having a house to clean (omg its a wreck!!). Oh and I took my car to a body shop to get an adjustment for the insurance - it was more than the car is even worth!! So now I'm waiting to find out if the adjuster will just total it out and then I can take collision coverage off my insurance and only carry liability. Which, really, could be a blessing. I mean, its a 12 year old Toyota with 190k miles on it. It runs great, but its not worth squat. Well it is to me, but not monetarily! Anyway, I got up this morning feeling better, got to the gym for extended care with the kids and was in the process of getting out toys. I decided to take my jacket off but when I turned to go put it on the bleachers I didn't realize there was a small bike behind me - yep, I tripped and landed square on my tail bone. One of the kids grandfather was there dropping her off and he saw me fall so immediately came to see if I was alright. Well really I wasn't - I just laid there for a minute catching my breath and assessing my body to see if I might have broken anything. I mean, I barely had time to catch myself - my hand hurt a little but mainly I had landed full force on my rear. and it HURT. He helped me up and I hobbled to the bleachers where I supported myself for several minutes while the pain slowly subsided. If you have ever fallen on your tail bone like that, you are understanding my pain. I mean, seriously OW!!! I came close to crying simply because all I could think was, what else? What else is going to happen to me this week? This sort of thing NEVER happens to me, especially not in such quick succession! I have never hit a deer before EVER. I've been driving on back country roads for 15 years and have had to slow down or stop for deer many many times. And out of nowhere one runs into me!!! I saw it about a second before it hit me -there was nothing I could have done! But to have that happen after having car trouble just days earlier, and then to fall the very next day... I am just in shock. I just hope the chiropractor can help me out today so that I'm not too sore the rest of the week. And can I just tell you something? Saturday is my birthday and we are having a big "Boot Scoot" at church for everyone and I AM GOING TO DANCE!!! I don't care if my tail bone hurts, i'm dancing! Its my birthday and I'm gonna party like a rock star. So THERE! Take that, Universe!
Prayer
Well I found out today, along with the other teachers at WEE School, that a 3 year old in Ms Tammy's class has leukemia. I only teach with Tammy on MWF and Danny comes on Tues/Thurs so I haven't actually had him in class. But I've seen him many times, and he's a bright, hilarious little boy with brown eyes and silky brown hair. He's smarter than his own good but well behaved. To know that he has leukemia is crushing. But I believe his spunky spirit means he's a fighter. He's receiving treatment at Cooks Children's Hospital and I believe had a blood transfusion either yesterday or today. Please pray for Danny and his family. I don't know if he has siblings, I really don't know anything about them at all. I just know he had his 3rd birthday on October 5th, and now a week later is in the hospital for treatment of leukemia. Thank you for your prayers and as we find out how he is doing I will keep you posted!
