Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Rated R for Sexual Content

This entry is not for the young or the sexually sensitive. No it is not explicit or sinful in nature, but still – it is about sex. Read on at your discretion.

I am a single, 20-something, non-sexually active woman living in a cosmopolitan city. I am not a sexually deprived woman. I do not have any problems whatsoever abstaining from sex. I find it really funny that on a regular basis, magazine’s such as Cosmo and Glamour are so focused on sex and physical pleasure. Every month I see them on the newsstands with big bold headlines of the new tricks or secret desires. Maybe I’m in the minority here, but my life does not revolve around sex! When I think about a hot actor or a cute guy I see out somewhere, its not a sexual fantasy. With the actors, sure I wouldn’t mind knowing if he is a good kisser or not, or how his arms would feel around me – that’s about as sexual as it gets. The cute guy I see out in public randomly? Its more of a “is he marriage material” kind of a thought. Or a “would he open the door and let me go first?” thought. I do not have any desire to see a guy naked at any point during the day – sorry to you guys who read this but that’s just not something I wanna see. Now, Brad Pitt without a shirt on? I wouldn’t turn my eyes away, I’ll admit. But I’d rather not see any further. Sexy to me is a man doing the dishes without being asked, a man opening the car door – both getting in and getting out – for a woman, a hug and a kiss without any other hidden agenda, a wink and a smile, a phone call just to say hello, remembering a special occasion, planning a special date in advance and taking care of all the details. Some of you reading are probably chuckling thinking “honey you are dreaming if you think a guy like that exists”. Well you know, here’s what I say. I am dreaming. And praying. And hoping. And waiting. If I’ve ever been given good advice, it is to never settle for second best. Never give up on your dreams. And never lose faith. I am not a Cosmo girl who thinks that getting a man involves learning how to “please him in the bedroom”. And I’m not a girl who is impressed with what a guy drives or how much money he has. I always wonder exactly what kind of girls they use for those wonderful polls with all the statistics about who’s having sex when, where, how many times and whether girls “play it solo” or not. They aren’t interviewing me, that’s for sure. Course, if they were I’m sure I’d still be in the minority. These days its practically an oxymoron to be single and chaste. But you know, I’m an “alien” – I am a stranger living in a foreign land. I’ve been down the immoral road and it didn’t do much for me. It didn’t make me a better person and I will always carry baggage because of it. Granted, your past makes you who you are and you learn from experience. So don’t think I’m wishing I could change it. But I’m telling you – any of you who may read this who are single and think you might be missing out on the sex action, don’t give in. It’s not worth it. God gave us sexual desires, but they are meant to be expressed within a monogamous marriage relationship. Anything outside of that will only hinder you and hurt you and leave you with scars that may not heal. God can provide healing, of course, and HE can restore you in every way. But I also know that because He can doesn’t mean He will and we sometimes have to live with the consequences of our actions. So now, after having been down the road of reading the articles in Cosmo and thinking whether or not I should use their techniques in an attempt to keep a guy’s attention, I can tell you with 100% honesty that I am not sexually repressed or deprived. I am a diamond in the rough. I am a pearl, stuck in an oyster, waiting for the right person to find me and see my true value. I am a bride of Christ who has been washed and cleaned. And when I see the tall, dark, handsome guy on the street, I really am thinking “Is he a Christian?” or “What kind of husband he is or will be someday” or “I wonder if he’s good with kids”. You can call me a liar if you want, and that’s okay. Angelina can have Brad. J I have a Prince Charming of my own somewhere out there – a man who is also a diamond in the rough, who is also living for Christ and who is also waiting for the right person at the right time to unleash the passion God gave to each of us.
And okay, I admit. I occasionally stay up late and end up watching Sex and the City and that was a partial influence on me writing this. So sue me

i'd rather be here.........


Thursday, January 19, 2006



Wednesday, January 18, 2006


i think i have rudolph the red nosed reindeer disease. my nose is perpetually red. its winter and i apparently have random allergies so every time i sneeze or blow my nose or scratch it or rub it or look at it wrong it turns red and stays that way for awhile. the allergies are funny though. one minute i can breathe just fine. . . . and then suddenly i can't. . . . and then i can again. i'm still in the same place breathing the same air. what is up with that?

two words

SQUATS HURT!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Lately I've been plagued with quotes from movies so I thought I'd share a few of them. Last night I was thinking about love and these 2 thoughts came to me. In Hope Floats, her mama never says "I love you" but instead says "My cup runneth over". Thats sort of her way of saying that she is overflowing with love and is too overwhelmed to accurately express it - she doesn't express her emotions very well anyway so thats just her way of saying "I love you" without really saying it. And at the end, the littler girl says it as the three of them are walking hand in hand. That little voice saying those words gives me goosebumps every time! Then I thought of Ghost and how Sam would always say "ditto" in response to Molly saying "I love you". And even though it bothered her because "sometimes you just need to hear it", the day that she met with Oda Mae Brown and was told that Sam was speaking to her and he said "tell her I love her" and she said "Sam would never say that". When she says "Ditto! He says ditto!" Molly stops and its like she suddenly realizes how much that word meant to her. It wasn't an "I love you" but it was his version of one and thats what gave it power.

Then today talking with someone about illness and short life expectancy's, etc I quoted Julia Roberts in Steel Magnolia's "I'd rather have 5 minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of something special." She was willing to risk her life so that she could experience the joy of giving birth to a child. And of course that leads to many more quotes from Steel Magnolia's. "I think its kinda funny - men are supposed to be made of steel or somethin." "I was there when that beautiful creature drifted into my life and I was there when she drifted out." and of course, one of my favorite scenes: "I just wanna hit someone until they feel as bad as I do! I wanna hit 'em hard!" and Clarie says "Here! Hit this! Go ahead Mellin, slap her!" and then "You just missed a chance of a lifetime - everyone in Chickapin parish would give their eye teeth to take a whack at Wheezer!" and on to Clarie saying "Wheezer, you know I love you more'n my luggage!"

Friday, January 13, 2006

black bar

walking into the building this morning i was behind a woman wearing blue jeans, black socks and white sandals. seriously.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Selective Memory?

So last night I was sitting at KFC and talking with some friends. Actually I was listening while Geoff talked about his recent trip to Florida. And as he was recalling the days he was there, I asked how long had he been there? He gave me a funny look and, laughing, told me "I called you the day before I left, don't you remember?". Um, no I don't. In one ear and out the other. I'm pretty sure I had this problem in school as well. If it didn't intereste me, I didn't remember it any longer than necessary. And even then I didn't always remember! I couldn't tell you who was President when (well, I do know who the CURRENT President is, thank you very much). I don't remember birthdays other than those of my immediate family and a very few number of close friends. And yet, when it comes to people and names, song lyrics and movie quotes I can whip them right out of my memory in a flash! As Geoff was telling about his trip he mentioned a friend named Owen and asked if I remembered him and I said "Well of course I do! I also remember he has a brother..........who's name was..........BRENT!" Okay well his brother's name is actually Brett but I was close! And Geoff was baffled that I couldn't remember how long he was gone on his trip which was just a week ago, and yet I could remember the names of 2 guys who I had met 4+ years ago and had only seen ONE TIME. Yeah. I remembered. I remember the name of the guy who sat next to me in my English Lit class in college (Bradley). I remember the name of the guy who wrote me a love note in 7th grade using the words of Madonn'as Song "Open Your Heart" (Fred). But if I was pressed to tell someone the year Columbus sailed..... yeah I'm not so sure. Hello! Am I Jessica Simpson? You know when she says that she didn't know buffalo's had wings? But if you want to hear anyone quote Aladdin, or Steel Magnolia's, or Pretty Woman - just ask!

Friday, January 06, 2006

Office Space

I don't always mind living in cubicle land corporate america but some things just irritate me. Milton had his special stapler, I have a staple puller. It has my name on it and yet it still manages to disappear. I've found it at the printer and in the copy room. Now I hide it. Thankfully I do not have an annoying boss like Lumburg - my boss ROCKS. But I do have annoying coworkers (don't we all?). There is the "too close" coworker. She simply does not get the concept of personal space. When she comes to talk to me I cringe because she walks right into my cube and will literally be less than an inch from my chair - sometimes she actually presses up against my chair. And of course I'll be leaning as far back across my desk as I can possibly get to put space between us. How is this not obvious? And why can't she just pick up the phone and call me? Then there's the "space cadet". She is constantly roaming around looking for someone to talk to. Sometimes she'll walk over to my neighbors cube, look in on her and then leave (she has finally learned that I'll just ignore her if I' m busy) Or if her manager isn't in his office she'll just keep walking over every 5 minutes to see if he's back - she'll stand there a few seconds staring at his chair as if he may magically appear. Wouldn't it just be easier to pick up the phone to see if he's at his desk BEFORE walking over? There is the "noseybody" who of course has exceptional hearing and picks up on everything everyone says and then rushes over to demand details if she hears something juicy. Of course, I also have my friends who I welcome chat breaks from, or those who keep goodies in their office. And I really can't complain about the fact that I get a rather large choice of free product all day long - soda's, water, slushies, gum, candy, hot chocolate, tea and coffee. Some offices charge for stuff like that! So really, working in cubicle land isn't so bad most of the time. Although I do wish I had a square cube instead of a rectangular one. . . . . and more of a window view. . . . and maybe a more comfortable chair. . . . heck I'd rather work at home!!! :-)

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Happy New Year!

New Years Resolutions:

1. Eat more vegetables!
2. Work out at least twice a week
3. Freeze the credit cards in an attempt to stop using them!
4. Spend more quality time with friends I don't see very often
5. Lose an inch in the hips so I can fit back into my cute jeans
6. Let hair grow a few more inches
7. Take at least one fun, longer-than-3-days trip somewhere
8. Read at least one book that is not a romance and has some educational value
9. Save enough money to get a new digital camera
10. (This is more a hope/wish than a resolution) Date a nice, tall, Christian guy for more thn 3 months

May 2006 be good to us all!